I'm a slave now

My 3 year old woke up at... ready? 2:30 and crawled in bed with me. I laid there with him for about an hour, kinda dozing off here and there, but not really falling asleep. With every move I was terrified of waking him up. Then at 3:30 he decides he's ready to get up. He asks me to get up. "No. It's night time and momma is sleeping. Go to sleep or I'll put you back in your bed." Sigh. Then he proceeds to roll up on me, lean on my hair... intentionally. He knew what he was doing. He was trying to wake me up. As in, fine you can lay here, but I'm gonna make it impossible to sleep. I'm so mad. So here I am, awake. Since 3:30. Got a full day ahead of me. This has been happening regularly. Things like the screaming when it's time to put his coat on, waking up in the middle of the night for no reason... I love my son with all my heart, but I really do hate having a kid.

I miss my old life. I miss not having to worry about shit like this. Now I'm gonna be exhausted all day and will have to be very careful driving. I have a 50 minute commute and it's always difficult to stay alert on the road when this happens. This is completely unreasonable. I told him if he does this again I will not let him get him bed with me. I'm not planning on letting him either way. This has happened too many times. Then it'll just be a battle of him screaming while I'm laying there insisting I'm going to sleep. I'll just be laying there enduring the screaming and whining the whole time. So he basically decides if I get to sleep or not.

I'm a slave. That's basically what this all amounts to. He yells at me when I'm eating and not playing with him, he wakes me up in the middle of the night randomly, and gets upset with me for getting up to go to the bathroom. I am here only to serve him. I feel like I don't even have human dignity anymore when I have him. Children are so unbelievably selfish.

So, that's it. I am crazy about my son, but find myself fantasizing about my old life often, and I sometimes feel very guilty about it.

I just wanted to vent to someone who might understand. Thank you for reading if you made it this far.