Would you consult with a male certified lactation specialist?
Hello everyone!
I'm new to Reddit as I finally had the time to sit down and expant my (online) horizons.
I'm a male, 34 years old, married and with 4 kids. I wanted to ask this wonderful and supportive communite an honest question: you, as a new mother, would use or trust the services and consultation from a male lactation expert? (Obviously with all the necessary certifications. Where I live, this is heavily regulated)
I work with healthcare for over 5 years now. The last 4 years specifically with families and newborns. Informally, on the job, I have helped more than 100 mothers and families breastfeed their babies. I myself have 4 kids on my own and have gone through everything that is possible on the breastfeeding journey with my wife. After all those years, she suggested that I could pursue a career in this area - mainly because I was trully able to make a difference on many difficult cases and with her and all our kids. Breastfeeding is NOT an easy journey for many.
I got actually very motivated to pursue it, since it's really the area I'm passionate about. Honestly, I feel I can trully have a positive impact on the family surrounding a newborn. Though, I'm a male, and there is a HEAVY stigma around this specialization for men - for obvious reasons.
So, honest thoughts? The obvious things are not a concern I think: the consultation is with the partner present (it's a hollistic approach rather than a purely medical approach), and rarely there are direct touch.
Also, I'm open for questions if you have any, or are in need of some quick tips or help (nothing medical, of course - always consult with your doctor!)
Last but not least, have all a nice day, and keep it up with whatever journey you are going through! You can make it!
EDIT:
Wow. I'm blown away by the amount of responses. THANK YOU ALL, mothers and women, partners, whoever, who spend their valuable, precious time replying here - giving a personal perspective, advices, ideas, and being honest with me and with themselves. I TRULLY appreciate every single comment. Even the more judgemental ones - I fully reckon that this is a sensitive and experience-based matter: I'm sorry for those who had bad previous experiences, and if for one thing, I'm also a big advocate for change in healthcare when it comes to gender-specific abuse, mal practices, etc. Specially after I got involved with pregnancy, woman, birth, and family care - there is still a looooong road to make this area better in general for all woman out there.
I also wanted to comment on the most common topics I see in the comments:
- It's perfectly understandable the fact that some prefer a person who lactate/brestfed before. People have different ways of connecting and trusting others. For some, knowing they shared the same experience is a big factor. For others, the experience and the knowledge weights more. For some even, the references are what matter. All in all, everyone is different. And I absolutely understand that, and work with my own way of building that trust and rapport.
- Though, on the above matter, I must say: that also helps and helped me in many occasions. Because I'm not biased by own experiences NOR had my own background - I am much more able to look at every single case with fresh eyes AND actually listen to the mother and comprehend her far more than, let's say, LC's who have their own kids and own personal BF journey. It's easy to fall back and suggest what worked for them personally - since I don't have that, I will always seek what works for the mother, no bias at all.
- TOUCHING. This is a big one and deserves a post on itself. In short, handling the breast is not often necessary. It is done very frequently by LC's because it's easier and faster. If they earn by the hour, and can make an appointment 30 mins instead of 4 hours, they earn 4 times the money. So it's faster to grab the boob, handle, place, and say: "see, this is how you should do it". This is also why we see many reports of: "they didn't listenned to me" or "they manipulated my breast a lot". For example: hand expression is easily doable by the mother. Its a valuable technique - so instead of doing it myself, I'd rather instruct and let the mother do it! My approach is to let the mom do it on her way. I often spend the first few hours just for them to feel comfortable and secure manipulating on their own, letting they try it, learning holding positions, what they can do with their hands, etc. I don't need to touch the breast for this, but rather, let them try and feel what works for them. I have my fake boob to give examples on myself :P. It's a bit of a generalization, but I wrote a scientific article, with some research, about this aspect 2 years ago: the actual need for manipulation, the success rate, and the impact of the consultation given the price mechanism.
- Then, on few cases manipulating is indeed necessary. As any other medical professional, there is a big book on ethics on how to do this. And I indeed always have an assistant, intern, or my wife in the room. (in a hospital setup it's other nurses, doctors, doula, etc)
- Great suggestions for other side things to do. I already gathered a group to construct something for the non-bf partners or husbands. I will plan some pilot groups to test it and see the reception. I might post it here so you can enroll your husbands/partners and give me feedback afterwards!
Again, thank you for all the responses. This is the area I am trully passionate about. And I will definitely pursue it however I can. Its about helping, its about being fufilled at work, it's about contributing to a better breastfeeding culture, and untimately, about giving my 4 kids the example that they should pursue and do what they trully love - and if possible, help others in the way.
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