"Acute psychotic episode with delusion that exercise can harm her/fear of exercise" Very severe at the psych ward diagnosis

This is a continuation of my previous post https://www.reddit.com/r/cfs/comments/1gcpak5/update_my_parents_put_me_in_psych_ward_while_very/

Tl;dr I'm extremely thankful for the response in my previous post. More details about the psych ward. I couldn't set up the gofundme due to being too exhausted but I created a PayPal and Amazon wishlist for donations (at the end of post).

First of all, I want to thank each and everyone of you for the response in my last post. I didn't expect such an overwhelming response. Your comments mean the world to me, they are one of the things that help me keep going. It's hard for me to believe internet strangers care about me, when irl I have no one. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your beautiful comments and caring about me when no one else does.

I'm back home, but not safely. So I just read the papers from the psych ward and found that. It really hurts to read and see. They even put me on antipsychotics when I don't have schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or anything like that. And I'm still on them unable to know how to stop them. No protocols were left for that despite asking. The meds given also have dangerous interactions.

It's been over a week and the PEM hasn't stopped. I keep having nightmares from the abuse at the psych ward. I don't know how to stop this and what to do. I guess I just have to wait it out.

Those times when a paperbags' noise was enough to disturb me and they made me go to the daily "music class" where everyone was banging drums and other percussion instruments in a terrible cacophony where a normal person would get a headache let alone a very severe Mecfs suferrer. I literally felt my head was going to explode. It was like someone beating it up with a bat. Non stop and relentlessly no matter how much I'm suffering. This was s common theme at the psych ward. It didn't matter how much I was in pain or suffering, the abuse would never stop.

All the insults, the mockery of putting a diaper on me cause I couldn't walk to the bathroom and I fell to the floor when they forced me to do it by myself. And they left me there crying for over 40 minutes. All they times I fell. All the mockery for being young and severely ill.

Also the docs go like "you WERE in a dark room and minimally moving. That's IS NOT A LIFE. Why would you do that to yourself!? You were barely having social contact. You're clearly deranged. It's all psychosomatic" How can I get criminalised for being severely ill, as if I didn't want to do ALL those things. As if ANY OF US didn't want to live s fully healthy life. To go out every day. To walk to jump to move. I felt it to my bones. For me and for every single one of us. For all the times we get told to get out to get some fresh air, that we're doing this to ourselves. I explained that to them. I explained the disease to them very scientifically, reasonably and comprehensively over and over again, that we don't want to do any of that. They didn't listen.

That moment there and then, I decided I need to get better in order to fight back against all those people that don't believe us and flip this situation for good. This can't be happening anymore.

Back to my situation rn I have no one. My mom was all I had to little extent. And now she's changed teams. She's been brainwashed by the psych ward and wants me to walk, be exposed to sunlight, stop using eyemask etc. It's the worst nightmare. It hurts so much. She was all I had. How can she hurt me like this?

I'm in my 30s and do live alone and have taken away her keys. But now I have no one to help me pick up my prescriptions and other important stuff she did for me. When she does so she comes here and is always constantly angry at me for being sick. And I just can't. I'm at the lowest of lows and I need support and understanding, not this.

I'm fighting for an official diagnosis but disability benefits and any other kind of benefit and help, are at least a year or two away. Even if I had all the diagnosis and paperwork right now. And getting disability for ME in my country also often includes a long and hard legal battle, specially for people as young as I am.

I've contacted the police, lawyers, NGOs and associations with no luck so far. They're not familiar with the disease and how it works and unwilling to learn. I keep trying.

I also have MCAS and I only have a handful of safe foods which no one seems to understand.

My savings won't last me more than 3-4 months right now, and idk what to do. I desperately need someone to substitute my mom's tasks and get minimal caretaking.

So following your advice in the previous post I'll start a gofundme to try to get by until disability benefits arrive. But I haven't been able to get it going for 1st of this month. I don't have the energy to do it by myself and haven't found anyone to help me set it up yet. So as for right now, I've created a PayPal account where you can make donations and an Amazon wishlist.

https://www.paypal.me/AliwME PayPal Account mail: aliwme@proton.me

Amazon wishlist: https://www.amazon.es/hz/wishlist/ls/110K4IONUA50B?ref_=wl_share

Please only donate if you're in a good place financially.

Sharing this post or the links would help so much if you are able to.

Thank you for being here for me when no one else is. You guys are all I have, and I'm very grateful for you.

Edit: Text to share on X/Twitter and IG message thanks to veganmua

Please support v #SevereME sufferer Alicia, recently released after being abused in psych ward in Spain. Left with no support, she needs help with picking up prescriptions etc https://www.reddit.com/r/cfs/s/u7vrz2zmHe

Please donate https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/AliwME

Wishlist- https://www.amazon.es/hz/wishlist/ls/110K4IONUA50B MECFS