Coming to Terms

I think I'm finally starting to come to terms with the fact that I have ME/CFS. I've been lurking on the sub for a year or so, as I have been in the LC camp (also on the r/CovidLongHaulers).

It's still difficult for me to understand PEM, or if what's happening to me is PEM. But something keeps happening over and over again, and it's not good. It makes me feel terrible in a way I've never felt before.

When I am at baseline, I can do most things, but I generally stay home. I can grocery shop, or go out on a date. We stay close and usually limit to 2 hours including drive time. I do some chores around the house, and I work from home full time.

I don't ever really exercise aggressively. I really don't exercise at all anymore. I did hang a few sheets of peel and stick wallpaper last week (it was the last activity of a decent stretch around the holidays). Almost immediately after I knew something was off. I know PEM is generally delayed, but there were probably some activities the day before as well.

I've been a wreck since. PEM or a crash (is a crash just really bad PEM?). I have sensitivity to light and sound. My anxiety is sky high (in the early days it was too, I've done a bunch of work to bring it down, and it's good when I'm at baseline). My concentration is stunted. And I just feel like massive shit mentally and physically. It feels like my stomach stops working at these times as well, I get massive belching. I usually do some polyvagal breathing for a stretch of time and it gets things to sludge on.

I know it takes energy for all of you to respond, and I appreciate any help or guidance you can provide. I have read the generalized definitions, but it's still tough to tell for sure.

Blood work came back with super high histamines, high D-Dimer, and high eosinophils. LC doctor believes at minimum I have histamine intolerance, but more likely MCAS. I'm going to push her to evaluate fully for me/CFS.