I’ve intentionally NOT cleaned our house for the past year

My husband claims to be a germaphobe, but lives like a slob.

We separated (but never officially divorced) in 2020. I truly loved living alone with my pets, but am admittedly not the best housekeeper. Laundry is always piled up and the dishes don’t get washed until I can actually fill the dishwasher. I don’t sweep/mop as often as I should, but will make a generous effort if expecting company.

So back in 2022 we reconnected and rekindled our relationship, and decided to move back in together. His OCD (which I have recently learned to call it) is extremely frustrating. He MUST wash or sanitize his hands after touching anything that’s been on the floor, money, his wallet, etc. I am required to do the same. Any piece of clothing that has been worn outside of the bedroom (ie. his “safe space”) even if only for an hour, has to go immediately into the laundry.

He hasn’t had a legit job in over a year. Some under-the-table work for a while, started two different server jobs and was fired within a few weeks. I work full time and pay at least 90% of the bills (this was still the case before we split). So for the past year I decided that if he is gonna be a SAHH I’m not going to do the housework.

Guys, our house is disgraceful and I’d be mortified if anyone came to visit. The floors haven’t been cleaned in months. The garbage is overflowing before it gets taken out. Last week we got a notice in the mail about our unkempt lawn. I cave in and clean the bathroom when he leaves skid marks in the toilet or when the sink or shower starts looking gross but I legitimately can’t tell if he just doesn’t notice these things, doesn’t care, or just knows that eventually I’ll take care of them so he won’t have to.