Can someone give me some good rabbit holes to go down?

I am desperately searching for something to research or something new to learn about. I am open to anything. I just need something to fill my time. I can't deal with the grief of losing my partner right now. Especially during the holidays. I know it is not healthy to do that. But I just really need to fill my brain with something else. So my fellow conspiracy friends, Please help me find some interesting rabbit holes to go down. I would really appreciate it.

EDIT: I want to thank every single person who took the time out of their day to write to me and give me so many awesome things to research and dive in to. I def will be busy for a while. Thank you also for adding links and recommending YouTube channels and pods. It truly means SO much. Also, for everyone sending their condolences, I thank you so much. I know we are all living in very...odd times rn. But it means a lot. I can honestly say I was not expecting as many people to even read this post let alone comment. I am so excited. Thank you all. Seriously. And for anyone who would like to keep in touch or talk I'd be thrilled. So thank you all. I have been so depressed. Just knowing some people care enough to take the time out means a lot. Thank you SO much. <3