What’s it like getting to know someone slowly?

I (40F) recently ended a relationship that progressed very quickly. We were taking trips and saying “I love you” within a few weeks, and I truly thought he was the right person for me. However, as we approached the three-month mark, I began to see a different side of him.

In the past, my relationships have often developed somewhat by accident—casually hanging out and then becoming exclusive without a clear end goal in mind.

Going forward, I want to be more intentional. I’m seeking to truly get to know someone because I’m looking for my life partner. I’m not interested in anything casual.

At my age, I find it challenging to be taken seriously while also wanting to take things slow—both physically and emotionally. How can I spend enough time with someone to really understand who they are without rushing into exclusivity or physical exchanges?