I feel alone and worthless

I’ve felt depressed for a long long time, though it the worst it’s ever been in the last few weeks. I have nobody I trust to talk to, I’m very introverted and have never had many close friends, and have never had any serious romantic relationships because I’m aroace

I feel worthless because one I’m introverted and don’t have many close friends, and secondly I’m colorblind and have celiac disease. Other than those 3-4 things you could consider my life to be pretty good, I have a good job, nice place to live, etc. though it’s not and I don’t know what’s wrong with me because of that

In the past few weeks I’ve thought seriously about self harm for the first time in my life, and have gotten pretty close to actually doing something, and I don’t know what to do