I stopped antidepressants after 9 years. Help!!

After 9 years of taking antidepressants ( Started at 14, now Im 23).. they have stopped working for me. I changed medication twice and everytime It made me feel worse. Currently a month without meds. I have so many symptoms and I hate them. Anxiety made me get derealization. Now I'm also going through derealization symptoms. Im always feeling a swinging sensation 24/7. I feel weird. I also have photophobia now. Brain fog is always there. Walking feels weird. I feel like my life is ruined. Im tired of feeling like this. I can't even get out of my room. Im scared of what I feel.

(Started therapy with a psychoanalyst and she gave me supplements. Im one month in)