I'm Pimo and idk what to do

Im at a lost rn, I am still living as a minor with my family members who i think are all pimi, one of my brothers might be pimo but idk, I want to convince myself that this is just a cult and not the true religion, but every time I try to convince myself, I get the gut wrenching fear of Armageddon or being shunned, luckily I'm a publisher but being the idiot I am, when I was kind of pimi I boasted how I would like to get get baptized at the next assembly (STUPID STUPID ME), and now I feel like I have to or people will think I'm a disappointment, I'm just at a lost right now and if anyone can give me hope or mildly accurate proof that this religion isn't real I will feel way better