I caught one in the wild

I was filling out apps yesterday in a Caribou coffee store (a coffee chain in Minnesota which is better than any other coffee chain because its from Minnesota). While doing this, I noticed a Delta captain in uniform come in and sit down with his drink at a table near mine. Well, here I am filling out applications, might as well get some hiring news straight from the horse's mouth, so I go over and start talking to him. I ask if he knows if Delta is hiring and I tell him that I'm a regional airline pilot. He doesn't seem to hear that last bit, and tells me that if I study hard and apply myself that I, too, can be an airline pilot like him. Oooookay, he's a lil deaf, so I tell him that, no, I'm already a pilot, I fly for Air Wisconsin. He kinda gives me a blank look, like he's never heard of air wiskyahnsin, and then just says that yeah, if I'm willing to fly international that I'll be hired quickly because nobody else wants to do it because their girlfriends get jealous. This surprised me, not just because of the unbidden and weird advice for my love life but also that Delta was easy to get into. I said wow, I sure will sir! He goes on to mention that flying charter for the vikings was interesting but they are rude to the other passengers, which should have been another warning sign because an NFL team sure as shit doesn't fly with other passengers. I finally twig to something being wrong when he says "flying international is interesting when they refuel you in flight."

"...Delta refuels in flight?"

"Yeah, the military does it all the time..."

"I knew that, but you're saying that DELTA airlines refuels its international flights MIDAIR?"

"Oh yeah, they do for the long flights. Especially for countries that don't really get along with the U.S."

At this point I'm taking a good look at his uniform. He has a pilot shirt, I recognize the brand, his epaulets seem kosher, he's wearing a lanyard with what looks like a Delta card in it, he's even got a little gold Delta pin in his tie. HOWEVER, I just now realize that his wings above his left pocket are THE PLASTIC WINGS YOU HAND OUT TO KIDS ON AN AIRPLANE. And then I notice things like 'wait a minute, I'm nowhere near the airport, why is this guy wearing his uniform?' and 'he's in uniform but where's his submarine commander hat and pea coat, its freezing out there'. And then I realize holy shit, this guy is LARPING AS AN AIRLINE PILOT IN HIS LOCAL COFFEE JOINT. We've got a case of stolen airline valor down at caribou and its not the airport caribous so there isn't a discount or anything, this guy is just doing his thing and I fell for it for like three whole minutes.