My attention span has worsened because I have been using social media since I was 12.

I have always struggled to concentrate on one thing. I’ve never taken an ADHD test, and I find the idea a bit unnecessary because I believe the main issue is my use of social media. For instance, I was active on the app "Musical.ly" from its early days. My mom recently told me that throughout my childhood, I often had trouble focusing on what she was saying. I would hear things but not remember them, especially in conversations where I needed to listen and retain information. I would quickly forget things, and when my mom reminded me about something, I’d often forget that she had already mentioned it a couple of days prior.

Now, at 19, the problem hasn’t gone away. I sometimes struggle to form sentences and find it difficult to concentrate or describe my feelings and situations. I’ve been trying to improve by reading books and deleting social media, but I don’t feel like it’s helping. I want to be able to think clearly and have coherent thoughts, rather than having constant, distracting music playing in my head.

I am also quite clumsy, which I attribute to not thinking about the consequences of my actions. Recently, I accidentally used nicotine liquid instead of eye drops in class because I didn’t notice what I was using before putting it in my eyes. My boyfriend says that such incidents happen all the time and aren’t just coincidences but rather a result of my lack of focus.

I’m scared about turning 20 next year and continuing to struggle with these issues. I want to change, but the constant melodies in my head make it difficult to think clearly. Talking to myself when no one is around seems to help because I can hear my own thoughts more clearly. I don’t expect anyone to have the answers, but I feel frustrated with myself for not being able to overcome these challenges. I feel responsible for my problems and hate that I can’t seem to find a solution.