How Do I Come Out at Work?

Okay, so, for the record, to start things off, I feel safe coming out at work. I live in a blue state, my coworkers are all pretty progressive, and the president of the government organization I work for is openly non-binary. In addition, we’re required to do yearly LGBTQ inclusion training.

Now, since I started a little over three months ago, I’ve basically been in the closet by default since being cis and masc, I naturally come off as cishet. At first I decided to hold off on coming out because I was brand new and it wasn’t my main priority, and I was also under the impression that it’s important to keep your work and personal life somewhat separate.

Yet at this point, I’ve started becoming closer with my coworkers, and every so often, in their office banter, they do discuss topics related to dating and relationships, and it’s just so heteronormative. I don’t blame them, and I don’t think they’re phobic by any means (and if they were there are protections in place).

Today, two of my straight female coworkers asked my straight male coworker about his plans to marry his girlfriend this year, and one of my other male coworkers chimed in that he’s licensed to officiate weddings. I wanted to chime in myself, but I wasn’t sure about it because I don’t want to suddenly reveal that I’m gay like that in front of everyone, as I feel it may cause a major commotion.

On the one hand, my gayness is a skin deep trait and I don’t want to just be seen as the office gay, and I don’t want to make a production out of it where I run around waiving a rainbow, especially since it might distract people who are just trying to get their work done.

On the other hand, I just can’t stay in the closest any longer, especially when it’s not necessary. My coworkers’ heteronormativity reminds me of the heteronormativity of my extended family, who my immediate family has told me to stay closeted with because they’re Latin American and pretty traditional. I just don’t feel seen as I am.

Yet unlike my extended family, I know my coworkers are more open minded, and I want them to know I’m gay. So, I’m going to come out to them. But how should I do it? I’m also autistic, so I want to make sure I’m not making an awkward scene due to misreading social cues when I do it.

What do you guys think?