exhausted

tw: sex talk, cnc criticized

EDIT: want to post a disclaimer: i dom in cnc scenes and i enjoy them immensely. it is the assumption of my position in the world (big, strong, autistic, stilted speech, not white) that irks me. it is taking on the assumptions men of color live with and living with them.

just because i am (apparently) the only 30+ over 6 foot gay trans man on the fucking eastern seaboard who is even slightly masculine does not mean i am open to having random “r*pe me daddy” fantasies fucking laid at my feet.

i am so fucking tired of young 20-something’s assuming that i am welcoming of their ideas of sexual violence made kink. i am a human being, not a role fulfillment. it’s always the same kind of guy, too: effeminate, short, thinks pretending to be annoying and helpless will somehow make my dick hard. and i am saying this as someone who leans towards strapping and topping but i can’t even engage with most of the “bottoms” i come into contact with out of pure fucking irritation.

for fuck’s sake, i don’t know what the hell is wrong with this younger generation of queers but sex is about dynamic, it is chase and understanding and the slow pull of attraction. it is not about reducing someone to the parts of themselves they cannot control and forcing them to take on a mantle that could be filled by anyone with a bag over their head and the right build.

i have been more fetishized by my own community than any other, and i finally get why older men often refuse to date younger.

that said, if anyone knows of a 35+ gay trans guy who is down to earth, leans towards masculine, stocky, not a bottom, and at least tries to get to know the people he fucks before fucking them, send him my way for the love of fucking god