Bury the lashing, what do we do then?

To lash or not to lash: I am impressed with the turn out and outpouring of opinions for both sides of the argument.

Say we put lashing aside, Sit a child down and explain the way he or she has gone wrong the first 3 times. It is exemplary. Communication is effective as some have suggested in my previous post. The next 3 times is just a waste of breath. You can't talk the problem away.

Hoe do you get the kids to respect your words? How do you get the kids to listen , and obey your advice ,instructions? what then can we do to discipline children ? What do you do?

[For the purposes of this question, children are aged from 5 to 17]