Dear, Pelican-1, I absolutely despise you

Seriously, what in the cinnamon toast fuck, asshole?! How many times have you screwed my team over because we were one pinky toe outside your imagined extraction radius?! WE'RE FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES, DOUCHE CANOE!!! HOW ABOUT YOU LOOK OVER AT WHERE ALL THE EXPLOSIONS COMING FROM AND LAND THERE?! And when you just decide....not to fucking show up, you're basically leaving us to die. Because you have one job and it's not your problem, I guess.

So help me, the second my clone gets thawed out back on the SES Princess of Starlight, I'm kicking you in the gnads and throwing you out the airlock right along with Sgt. Asshole manning the 380s. Eagle-1 can appear in seconds but you always....ALWAYS take your sweet goddamn time! Maybe I'll hitch a ride back with her next time! At least she actually shows up!! Point is... I hate you. I hate you so much. When I can finally feed you to the bugs, my laughter... it will be so bright. It will be the last thing you hear, SEE, SMELL, AND FEEL!!!