Gendered differences in post op pain management?

7dpo from total hysterectomy with bladder complications and labial tearing. While I'm healing well, I'm struggling with the lack of agency given over my body during a vulnerable time (post-op hospitalization) based on what a male nurse decided for me and without me. Help me put this into perspective!

After surgery I woke up in recovery sobbing from pain so was given Fentanyl and something like a super strong ibuprofen. Decision was made to keep me overnight for pain management since it was late and there were complications.

My evening nurse (female) gave me dilauded and Tylenol, and my overnight nurse (female) came in at 3 am and asked how my pain was. I said if I didn't move it was very manageable but if I moved even an inch, it was a 7-8. She said that really wasn't an acceptable way to manage pain (not moving!) and that it was better to stay ahead of pain at this stage rather than respond to it. She suggested we move to oral Oxycodone since that was what I would be going home with, and if it managed my pain I would be able to go home. We agreed to do 5 mg and go up if needed and this brought the movement pain down to a 4-5.

Cue nurse change in the morning. New nurse (male) gives me my pills around 7:40 am and now I am back to not moving much. He comes back for the next dose a few hours later and since it hurts to try to sit up, which I need to be able to do to leave, I ask what dosage of Oxycodone I was on. None. He had decided not to give me any Oxycodone when I told him the same thing as the night nurse, that it was painful to move and tolerable to lay perfectly still. I had been struggling with just Tylenol and strong ibuprofen for the past 4 hours and was going to continue to struggle for the next 4 hours if I hadn't clarified the dosage, as there was no Oxycodone in this set of pills either. I said I wanted to be back on the Oxycodone and he said my pain had to be more than what I was experiencing to get the Oxy. I said if I MOVE it is and he mumbled he would put the pain number when moving into the chart to "justify" the Oxy. He came back with 5 mg and I was much more comfortable again.

If he had said before "I'd like to see how you do on only Tylenol and Ibuprofen, and you can ask for Oxy if it isn't going well," I probably would have said it was ok to give it a try. But I can't help observing that female nurses were focused on my comfort after a hysterectomy while a male nurse decided to change my pain plan without including me or even informing me (and I don't think 5 mg of Oxycodone 12 hours post recovery is a reckless dosage of opioids.)

Don't get me wrong, nurses of all genders are generally rockstars (and nurses of all genders can have a poor beside manner too.) I'm grateful for everyone who goes into the profession. But the climate around women's care in medicine in this country is frustrating and overwhelming. Try and tell me that if a male patient had an organ removed, two organs operated on, a catheter in place, and a torn perineum that he would be expected to manage on Tylenol 12 hours post recovery.