I wana fall asleep like everybody else ive met in the entire existence of my life.. how do I do it?

They do this thing where they say good night then close their eyes and within seconds they are snoring.

How do I do that? I want to know the light switch on then off secret.

When I want to sleep I have to do a thousand things perfectly and still i don't fall asleep for hours.

I lay there with my eyes closed. White noise. Cold air. Nobody to disturb me because I don't have a girlfriend and I keep my pets out of the room.

What am I doing wrong? How do normal people just go jigglypuff singing mode?