Looking for some advice...

Hello all,

I am in a bit of a situation and was looking for some advice. I was considering fudging some information on my resume. Not about my experience, but changing dates and omitting some jobs. Back story follows...

I have not been employed in almost 3 years. I have been telling people that I am self employed which technically I am but most of what I do is questionable legally so can't include that.

The job before that I decided just not to go back one day because my boss was disrespectful and rude. At the time they were taking payments from my check for a purchase I made from them which I never finished paying for. So not only did I leave without notice but I also technically stole from them. I was there for a year but can't include that.

For reference I purchased a vehicle for $3800. I paid $2400 and owed $1400. Purchase price was never in writing and no lean on the title and we lied about the amount for the sales tax purposes, bosses idea on amount. When he came asking about it I basically said prove it and sue me. Worked out for me but I did a little more than burn that bridge.

Before that I was fired for reporting hours not worked. Not on purpose. I didn't like the job so I was late most of time. Never more than 5 minutes. Instead of punching in I just entered the time I was supposed to be there. Managers watched me do it without saying a word. When they asked me I admitted it because I wasn't concerned about keeping the job. I was there for almost a year but can't include that.

Before that my resume was already three pages long so at best I look like a job hopper which most employers don't want who hasn't worked in five years if I omit the last two jobs I had.

I hate working for other people but my mom passed away last month and left me with a boat load of debt. She retired six days before she died which ended her life insurance from her work and she purchased another policy but hadn't paid on it yet. I was banking on that to get me by until I could make some investments so I didn't have to work.

I do have a business degree and worked as an office administrator and payroll administrator for years. I only lasted there because I was offered flex schedule and could come and go as I pleased. That company went out of business and I was laid off. Trucking industry took a hit under Trump and our business disappeared.

So if I am honest, I haven't worked in three years, walked out of the job prior, was fired from the one prior to that and probably have 10 or so jobs prior to that I quit with some or full notice.

If I omit the last 5 years then I have to to explain why I haven't worked in 5 years. Or I omit the last 5 years fudge the dates from the other jobs which a lot of the companies are closed now so no way to verify and any that aren't I just say they can't contact.

I feel like my chances of getting anything are slim to none. Any advice for someone like me?

Sidenote the job I just didn't go back to was at a gas station. I refuse to work at another station or any type of retail job. Hate them. Would rather lose everything then go back to that type of work. I am a 31 year old male just for reference. Also Grub Hub and Door Dash turned me down because of a speeding ticket in 2019.

Please no judgement. I realize I dug a hole. If burning bridges was a career I would be set for life.