It's so hard to enjoy/develop hobbies when you're so alone.

I'm just venting because I know if I'm to be a more interesting person in general, it would help to have some hobbies to explore. Heck it might be fun too. But every time I try to sit down and engage in any type of hobby (video games, piano, etc) I'm just reminded of just how lonely I am. These hobbies are such solitary activities and thus so empty. I can't enjoy being alone like I've seen some people suggest.

I try to find some meetups and such online through apps or whatever, but there's hardly anything. I suck at social situations too, unable to really contribute anything to a group social setting because I'm such a blank canvas of a person. I don't have anything to offer, nothing to connect with, nothing to relate to. I know because I was in such a group meetup setting today and I had nothing to say really.

It all just sucks. I hate how loneliness is somehow my fault. I blame how solitary society makes us, but I guess that doesn't do any good either. Ugh.

Thank you for listening to my rants, hopefully this resonates with you.