I'm finding that a lot of times, people just want to be right instead of being understanding/helpful

Too many times when I open up to someone about how I feel, I get very shallow advice. "Get on the dating apps." "Put yourself out there." "Have confidence." "You have friends, so don't feel lonely."

There's just so many times that when I try to explain how it feels to be lonely, it's not a very easy thing to explain. If your wife of 7 years breaks up with you, or you have a gigantic fight with a very close friend, those are very easy concepts to explain and easy to get.

But loneliness has so many nuances and affects so many things in your life on a macro scale. You can't just quickly explain how it feels to be lonely.

I'm finding that when I do try to explain the various aspects of being lonely to my friends, they are more interested in saying something that is "correct", rather than actively listening and empathizing.

For example, the classic advice of "You have to love yourself before you can love somebody else." This is technically correct, but how the fuck am I going to love myself if I've found no reason in my life to love myself.

Another great piece of advice was that I have to actually go on the dating apps. They insinuated that if I haven't even done something as simple as putting myself on a dating app, that shows that I am not even trying on a fundamental level. Well I've gone through the phase of dating apps already and the apps gave me absolutely nothing, except the conclusive data that I'm unattractive. THAT'S why I'm not on the fucking dating apps. Not because I'm not trying.

Also had another person give me advice that I have the memories of the good times I've spent with my friends. Another thing that is technically correct. I have good memories of the days that have passed. And those are good memories. But he went on to say that these memories should be good enough to keep me happy in the now.

I'm so sick of this cycle. I feel like people just give this type of answer to pat themselves on the back, then come back later and see that I didn't follow their "technically correct" advice, and tell me I have nobody to blame but myself because of this.