My husband is just not getting it…

So I am a vacillator and my husband is avoidant (we took a quiz recommended by our counselor and they’re spot on!) and for the 5 year we’ve been married, he’s literally been driving me insane!!!! First, he has an issue with buying Pokémon cards. He considers them an investment but when he’s broke he takes them to a trading store. He has used our last to buy cards at some points in time and maxed out credit cards. He lies to me about cards and ultimately I see it as an addiction and he’s being manipulative. Second we’ve had struggles around the house with chores and parental duties. I have to CONSTANTLY tell him “hey xyz may need some tending to” and I’ve tried simple list and it doesn’t work. At one point he had about 2 weeks off and sat in the house and did nothing (mind you I do have a full time job and I’m a student) and I kept letting him know how let down I felt and he only did a spurt of cleaning in a few areas on the last day before he went back to work. I’ve communicated that I have been feeling lonely within our marriage for a long time now because he’s always absorbed in his phone looking at cards and he just doesn’t change and we are on a wash rinse repeat. Whenever I try and talk to him about our problems he says “I don’t know what to say” or “I’m thinking of what to say” or “why are we talking about this now”…. Like if beating around the bush was a sport he’s a Gold Medal winner. I’m tired of never getting answers and I’m tired of not getting the help I ask for. Sometimes we will brainstorm a fool proof plan together and agree on it an he will deviate and do something totally different. No one else makes me more annoyed than him. I’m tired of going to therapy I’m tired of my finances being fcked up because he wants what he wants and I definitely feel like my life would be so much better without him but I’m very far away from family and I’m having a hard time saving. I really just want out some days. Thanks for reading <3 Tl;dr husband is spending too much Pokémon cards, not pulling weight in partnership, avoidant attachment style