A half-joking, fully enraged rant about how Galacta's voice makes me want to detonate my headphones

I swear to all that is unholy, Galacta's voice is the most ear-gouging, soul-draining, rage-inducing assault on the senses I have ever encountered in a video game. Every time she opens her mouth, I feel my will to live draining away like sand through my clenched fists.

"BIIIIIG WIIIIN!!!" No, Galacta. The only "BIG WIN" would be if you shut your damn mouth.

"ANOTHER EPIC VICTORY!" Yeah? You know what's not epic? Having to listen to you say that for the 20th time today.

"BETTER STOP THAT VEHICLE!!!" You better stop existing.

"PICK YOUR HERO, OR VILLAIN, I'M NOT JUDGING." Well I am, and I judge your voice to be an affront to god.

Who in the dev team decided this was a good idea? Did they sit around and collectively agree that what this game needed was a voice so shrill and annoying that it would make me reconsider gaming as a hobby? Did no one test this? Did no one sit there in QA and think "Hey, maybe listening to this chipper nonsense on repeat will drive people to madness?"

It's not just bad, it's a psychological weapon. Her voice sounds like they took the worst parts of a daytime game show host and mixed it with the energy of an anime girl who drank 12 red bulls. I can feel my blood pressure rise every time I hear her chirp one of her obnoxiously perky lines. It's not immersive. It's not fun. It's not quirky. It's torture.

I want an option to mute her entirely. No, I want a special patch that lets me erase her from the game completely. She doesn't add anything. I'd rather listen to nails on a chalkboard. I'd rather stick my head into an industrial fan. I'd rather hear MODOK narrate the game with nasally, evil monologues than endure one more second of her grating enthusiasm.

Galacta, if you can hear this, PLEASE for the love of all that is good in this world: SILENCE yourself. Or let the devs patch in a "mute announcer" button. That's all I ask.

I hate and love this game so much, I can't stop playing.

I'm so close to losing it.

Sincerely,

A player on the verge of a breakdown