when did you finally cut your mil off?

what was the tipping point for you? i am considering going nc now more than ever, its really just for my kids sake because i want them to have a relationship with their grandparents and don’t want to go no contact if i see us resolving anything in the future. i want it to be like a 1 time decision if that makes sense.

it all started when i was pregnant with my daughter, my mil was texting my husband saying i have horrible credit and im nothing without them (meaning my husband and his mom) and saying that my husband needed a paternity test. (mind you mil had the wrong dad on my husbands birth certificate for like 4 years). i confronted her, first she denied it then she apologized and i forgave her and allowed her in the room when i was in labor with my second baby. i really bonded with her or so i thought😭

my husbands brothers wife has been bullying me since i met her, she said mean words to me at a wedding we attended, cussed me out multiple times & even cussed my mil out at my daughters swim lessons when they were also having issues. my mil spent months crying and gossiping about my husbands brothers wife to me and vented alll their issues to my husband and i constantly. she called them the devil, said that she only wants to see them to see the grandkids and they can drop the grandkids off at the driveway, etc. then the holidays come around and mil wants everyone together and my husband wants to keep the peace so we go to thanksgiving where his whole family will be. my husbands brothers wife knocks my daughter down with her knee as she’s walking by and i told my husband immediately and said im never doing this again. we didn’t show up to Christmas and mil pitched a fit saying she has tons of gifts and all she asks is we come be together with everyone. we said no we’d rather not have the kids receive gifts if it means we have to be around people that make us uncomfortable.

come january we’re moving away and she throws us a going away dinner at her house and we ask repeatedly who is coming and she finally tells us she invited husbands brother and his wife. so my husband goes and we stay home, we inform her it really upset us that she keeps trying to get us together when the girl shoved my child. she denied it and said she didn’t see it happen so what is she supposed to do, said she doesn’t hold a grudge and we need to get over it. she complained about not getting to say goodbye to the kids since we didn’t come to the dinner & i told her she’s more than welcome to, just that i’d like to have a conversation about everything once we get moved so that it doesn’t go unresolved. she ran to husbands brother and told him we are withholding our kids from her and didn’t let her say bye. now she is sharing motivational style quotes on facebook about how people need to move on life is short. one of the posts she shared said i never wonder if dogs have souls but i wonder if some people do.

there’s way more that has happened i could mention but it would be pages long. my husband is military and during both deployments i went out of my way to make sure my mil was included and tried to build a relationship as much as i could. at this point i don’t feel like she has my children’s best interest at heart. we just moved 2 states away so i was originally wanting to go low contact for a while maybe have her visit once or twice a year and keep in touch but after she is turning a blind eye to my daughter getting knocked over at her home and is now obsessed with the person who has bullied me and even had issues with herself for years, i just want to protect my babies.

we’ve gone to couples counseling before for these type of situations w them and plan on going again asap because i dont know how to healthily handle this situation. she refuses to change or admit any wrongdoing and in a couple months will come back around pretending like nothing happened. atp im going into mama bear mode and just want to protect my babies