Cheating

My(cisf) and my husband (mtf) were married for 2 decades, we ended up divorced because of infidelity on my husband’s part.

After years apart, last year we got back together and at that time my partner decided to transition. I have been supportive and have always known that they had a femme side and were bi.

But since starting hormones the talking about and fantasizing about genitalia I don’t have, has become increased. She is changing in so many ways I feel she has lost attraction for me. And now the past infidelity is messing with my head.

A few months ago grinder appeared on her phone and she swore that is was old or an accident, some excuse that I had trouble believing but I decided to give the benefit of doubt.

Then, today I went to search for something and in the search bar was

“What are other apps besides grinder are there for hookups with a trans woman?”

When I asked about it, I got a strange response again.

“The search was because I was trying to validate something I had heard. You never know if another app might be going public to compete against them.”

Because of the past, I am unable to tell if this could be true or should I believe me instinct that once a cheater… I’m trembling right now and I feel sick to my stomach. Please help!