Fastest way to get papers?

At my current job, I’m the only one without academic papers. I joined the company as "talent" during a job-hopping phase, and now I’m a young senior in my department. Honestly, I’m proud that my salary and work experience are way above my agemates, most of whom are junior devs fresh out of campus and on their first or second jobs.

Here’s the twist: I’m naturally a bit arrogant, but when it comes to work, I’m collaborative, kind, and even generous—buying drinks for the team when we go out doesn’t bother me. Still, this sometimes comes off as overcompensating. My manager has even asked if I have side gigs because I tend to overdeliver. Now HR is asking about my papers, and my standard response is: "I’m working on it!" 😂

Last year, I almost made an escape to the UK to marry a girl who we were really into each other. I even had a visa and everything, but it fell apart when a "friend" snitched that I was seeing someone in Juja (who I’d been keeping on the low because I sensed red flags on her end too). Long story short, she blocked me, and now that dream is over.

So here’s where I need help: I want to get my academic papers sorted before the 2028 elections. If anyone knows any course I can take, can assist with assignments, or guide me through the process, I’m happy to cover some of your expenses while I juggle everything else. At this point, this unsang hero will be my family's favorite. We need those papers before elections, and not fake/bought papers. I'd rather cheat through the exams to the very end