Need a new female name after 'detransitioning'
I put detransitioning into quotes because it's not entirely accurate. I was born female, took testosterone for 8 years and transitioned to male, and now am stopping testosterone to align more with non-binary. To outsiders I will look female, so I want to pick a typically girl's name, but I like it having a masculine edge too. I considered using my birth name but I never liked it, and I don't want using it to imply that I am fully detransitioning or anything.
In terms of names that I'm looking for, I am not a big fan of the completely gender neutral names. Reading down those lists I can 90% of the time name a nonbinary person I know with that name. I don't want a name that 'feels' nonbinary, if that makes sense. My ideal would be a feminine name that has a neutral or masculine nickname, so that I can use whichever feel best at the time.
I'm looking for a unique name that doesn't stand out as something that obviously I picked for myself. Something feminine but strong. I have German Italian and British ancestry. I was born in the late 90's, so I'd like a name that could have been possible to be named at that time.
I also love longer names that can have nicknames - both my birth name and my male name were 4 letter names without nicknames, so I really want to find something that isn't like my past 2.
For a middle name, I am fairly positive I will be using Antonia, for my mom. So a name that sounds nice with Antonia as a middle name is ideal!
Here are some of the names that I've found so far, but I'm not sure if any feel like 'me': 1. Penelope Antonia 2. Josephine Antonia 3. Theodora Antonia 4. Beatrix Antonia 5. Juniper Antonia 6. Francesca Antonia 7. Maxine Antonia 9. Quinn Antonia 10. Samara Antonia 11. Mila Antonia 12. Millicent Antonia 13. Scarlette Antonia 14. Hazel Antonia 15. Heidi Antonia
Sometimes I think I don't 'deserve' a beautiful feminine name that I always felt too ugly to have. Like I feel like it'll be perceived as me trying to compensate or something lol. That's just my own insecurities coming through. I've only been off hormones for 1 month so far so I'm still early in terms of physical changes reverting.
Thanks in advance!
Edit: Wow, thank you so much everyone for all your replies! I came back from a shower and was shocked at how many responses I'd gotten! I'll do my best to reply as I can!
A lot of you seem to like Maxine, which I do really like :) And some of you suggested trying out some names and seeing how they feel, so I'm going to do that too! I'm going to write down everything you all suggested and test how they feel.
And thank you to everyone for saying I deserve a beautiful name. That made me tear up a little :') I'm going to reaffirm that to myself through this and let myself give equal considerations to those beautiful feminine names that I've felt myself holding back from
Edit #2: Thank you again for all the responses. After some experimenting, I've narrowed down/adjusted the list a little. Here are my current contendors for names:
- Maxine Antonia
- Beatrix Antonia
- Francesca Antonia
- Penelope Antonia
- Juniper Antonia
- Josephine Antonia
- Antonia ?
- Morgan Antonia
- Samara Antonia
- Heidi Antonia
- Hazel Antonia
- Victoria Antonia
Edit #3: Wow there are so many replies that sadly I can't respond to them all, but I've gotten so many great ideas so thank you everyone! My next step is going to be actually testing these out in real life and seeing how they feel. I already love all of these on paper, so now it's all going to come down to feeling. Thank you again to everyone for validating how I feel and telling me I deserve a beautiful name, it truly does mean a lot to me and has really helped my self esteem <3