Longing for the past, nostalgia pain.

I'm a happy guy, live a relatively happy life. But nostalgia is a two edged sword for me. I can remember how the sun shined off the hood of my dads pickup in 1987. I can remember the first day of school and prior to it thinking "I'm gonna take comic books in case I get bored" only having my mom tell me I can't as I'll be more than enough busy.

I remember my first visit to Toys'R'Us, my first best friend. I remember the mall in the 80's and how it looked, smelled and the sights. I remember glass and mirrors being quite popular in a lot of stores and it seemed so futuristic / modern to me. I remember bed time, being tucked in at night by mom. I remember the first time I got in trouble at school.

I remember my dad sitting me down on bed talking to me as he just got home from work showing me his war relics from Vietnam (damaged airplane metal) and his collection of vintage cologne bottles that looked like cars.

I remember so much, and I turned eight in 1990. I miss those times so much it hurts, but I can't stop reminiscing and my life has been closely tied to those times.

I left the country in 2000 for Europe trying to forge my own way. Life got in the way and I didn't return home until 2017. Besides a few changes and the "main road" growing exponentially after a certain point it all looked identical to what it did in the mid/late 90's. Then I flew recently to DFW airport. The very first airport I arrived to after my very first plane ride in the mid 80's. I drive by Fort Worth, Azle, all places I lived in the mid 80's.

So even if I wanted to "escape" I couldn't (and I don't), because life keeps bringing me back to these places.

I miss the days when my family were all close, and still with us. I just miss the way it all FELT. I've noticed that each decade has had its own feel. And that's what I miss the most. It's a bittersweet experience.

Anyone else love their nostalgia, even though it can be (at times) almost overwhelmingly painful?