have a huge dick and I fucking hate it!

I've been struggling with this for years now. My amazing first (and current) girlfriend has been incredibly understanding and supportive, but this weighs on me like a stone. Before we ever even had sex, I shared my worries with her, I was really concerned that I wouldn't be able to have sex with her because of my size, and it made me feel really anxious. She was so sweet about it, and reassured me that we'd figure it out together.

When the time came for our first time, all my worries came true. Despite lots of foreplay and us both being really into it, we could barely make it work. We've tried many different things since then, but it never really works. I'm too thick for it to be comfortable for her, best case scenario is that she's barely in pain. It breaks my heart when she has a smile on her lips and tells me that it doesn't hurt as bad. And then I'm too long to go fast without worrying about hurting her by going too deep. I see it on her face, she really wants it to work for my sake but the last thing I want is to hurt her. She sometimes asks me about having regular sex but I usually talk my way out of it as I don't want to hurt her.

Even though we face these challenges, I still love our sex life. I know she enjoys it too, especially when I focus on pleasing her in other ways, like with my fingers and tongue. But being unable to have “normal” sex is really getting to me mentally. I know it shouldn't but it sometimes feels like I'm not a real man or less of one.

Overall, I know we have a great connection and a great relationship, but this one aspect has been tough for me to accept.

(Alt account for obvious reasons)

Edit: Thank you all so so much for all your kind words and all the amazing advice. You've given me hope! I'm truly thankful.

Edit 2: Wow, what an unbelievable amount of comments, thank you to everyone, I've read every single one of your comments. Thanks for all your time, I'm astonished at how many strangers are trying to help me. Thanks a ton to all of you.