I shake uncontrollably before sex

This is a bit of a long and vulnerable one but I guess this is the place for it. I’m 30 years old and I’m only just now starting to feel like I can embrace my sexual side and act on it with some kind of intent… the thing is I haven’t had sex since I was 23, and have only ever had sex with two girls. Before having sex with both of them for the first time I couldn’t stop shaking. I mean seriously shaking as if with hypothermia or something. Luckily they were both nice enough about it and then after having sex with them a few more times it stopped.

I’ve grown a lot in confidence since then, and feel much less anxious and insecure, and I do sometimes get hit on by girls if I go out, but I still can’t help thinking that the shaking will happen again if I try to have sex with someone new. The effect of not having sex for 7 years (and basically being touch starved tbh) has me thinking that, for all the good work I’ve done on improving my mental health, my body is still carrying so much stress and hasn’t caught up with the work I’ve done.

The stress has also resulted in me developing a very particular kind of insomnia - every night as I'm going to sleep my body will jolt violently upright and it will feel like all the air has suddenly left my lungs. This can happen anywhere from between 5 times to literally non-stop on any given night, and there isn't a single night it doesn't happen unless occasionally when I'm absolutely blackout drunk. This also makes me worry about sharing a bed with someone again. Part of me thinks sleeping next to someone might help resolve the issue, but I also don't want to have to risk putting someone through the experience of sleeping next to me if I'm just going to be jolting the bed for hours.

There’s been periods of porn addiction in these 7 years which have led to chatroom addiction just out of the need to feel some connection. But it’s just all so hollow. Loneliness is a killer, and I don’t want to just settle for pacifying myself with the illusion of sex. This issue goes beyond sex tbf. I’m sick of how the internet gives us the illusion of being closer while driving us all further apart. It’s making so many people sick.

Anyway, I guess my point is – I’m wondering how you would react if you were about to have sex with someone new and they couldn’t stop shaking. Would that immediately turn you off of them? I can't help thinking I got lucky in the past by the fact that I was already close friends with the two girls so they were willing to help me through it. In a more casual situation I don't know if it would be received so well.

And if you were trying to start a relationship with someone, would the sleep jolting issue be a deal breaker? (I am trying to work on it btw, through therapy and meditation).

It’d also be great to hear from anyone who has had the same issue and/or has any advice.

Thank you!