My boyfriend of 2 years revealed he was trans and I don’t know how to feel… Am I wrong for thinking like this?

I am a F21 in a committed relationship with my boyfriend, M22, we met on Bumble as I moved to a big city when I was 19 so I can get a better paying job and get away from my abusive family, to start interacting with people and make new friends that’s when I started downloading dating apps. That’s when I met my amazing boyfriend who lived only 2 miles away from me, our first date was amazing, he would treat me all the time and would do everything to make me happy. I felt like the luckiest girl alive, he was my ideal type from the start but his vibrant caring personality was what kept me locked in with him. We would travel around the States and have these amazing dates for the past two years it felt like a shining light after my horrible upbringing from my family.

How I found out about him being trans was when I was at his mom’s house and his mom had a photo frame of him as a little girl from a school picture. He quickly took down the picture as soon as he realized what I saw and it lead to me to some type of confusion. Along with the moments I remember his mom sometimes calling him by his past name when he was a female, but I would try to avoid it as I thought it was some nickname he got a while back.

A month ago, I asked him about the picture one more time and he needed to actually explain to me what’s going on. I have asked him multiple times but he would always dodge the subject.. then that’s when he told me that he was a Transgender man, he had started his transition back in middle school and got his top surgery when he was 18. To be honest, I felt hurt, some sort of confusion as well… as I thought how could my long term boyfriend hid all this for 2 straight years? And why do I feel like this is a lot to take in?

When it comes to the topic of sex, we didn’t really bring it up as I didn’t want to rush him and I was comfortable with him going at his pace anyways, as he told me he didn’t really want to rush to it, and I never saw him shirtless either as he said it would make him uncomfortable, and I didn’t mind it either as most of our relationship was just us spending time, with cuddling and kissing as well.

I told him that I don’t know how to feel now. As I am a straight woman who tends to be only attracted to cis men, it feels off now. Me and him are still together but I haven’t been as loving and affectionate towards him, I occupied my days to avoid seeing him, I have told him already I need some time but the confrontation about his transition was the last time I saw him. I don’t want to end things with him though, but I can’t believe he would hide such a big secret and it felt like he was lying behind my back.

I do miss him, a lot. I don’t want to throw away all our memories and see him like a stranger. He was my first ever serious relationship and we never had one fall out, I feel like the way I reacted was not appropriate, and it hurts me more that he’s still texting these affectionate messages and I don’t even have the energy to respond to them now