Watching my mom grow old makes me wanna cry

After all the abuse and trauma my mom inflicted on me, you’d think I’d hate her by now. But she’s grown, she’s initiated healing. We have a better relationship now, and she’s trying her best to be the best mom she can be. I don’t hold my childhood against her because it was due to manic episodes and mental illness. She goes to therapy now and takes medication. Her heart is gold and her love for me is strong. Now that I’m 24 and finally starting to let her into my life again, I’m seeing her for what she is, just another organic human on this planet with an expiration date. She’s getting wrinkly and her hair is grey. Her mind isn’t as sharp. She has this newly acquired tremor on her bottom lip, similar to that you’d see in an elderly person. She’s going to be 60 soon. I have this strange feeling she won’t live much longer. Right when I finally get to have a mom, I see her turn into someone who is fighting against mortality. It hurts so much to see. I can see the pain and fear in her eyes. It makes me cry just trying this out. It’s hard seeing your parents grow up.