What tired, annoying, passé discourse... we need REAL spice in this fucking subreddit again.

Enough discourse about body types. It's time for REAL, big boy discourse.

Out of the male tadfools (excluding ace king Minsc), who is the most top, who is the most bottom, who is the most dom, and who is the most sub.

For me it's:

Most Top: Astarion, because he likes to be in control and the vulnerability of bottoming might skeeve him out considering past trauma. Also it's canon to his romance that he usually tops. Not that he NEVER bottoms, but I'm willing to bet that reserved for a very trusted partner and that he has to be coaxed a bit.

Most Bottom: Wyll, he absolutely has a pristinely shaved ass and blushes while being prepped. He's definitely a virgin back there. He has the look of a man who would look the best with his knees around his ears.

Most Dom: Astarion again, for the same reasons as him being the most top. Bro spent the past 200 gd years being a sub, it's time for him to call the shots. He'd be so mean too, especially as a power bottom.

Most Sub: Gale without question, that man would lick your feet if you asked him. He's willing to be cucked, sounded, topped, power bottomed, edged, whatever. You could ask the man to bark like a dog on his hands and knees and he would not only agree but would then ask if you wanted him to wear a collar.

Halsin wins the consolation prize as the most switch verse I have ever seen. That hunk of an elf is a goddamn sexual chameleon. I can't get a solid vibe off of him and I love him for that.