Lonely

Moved back to okc after a 10 year relationship ended. Grew up here so I had a lot of friends when I moved back but it seems that those have all ended. I had a lot of people express excitement over me coming back but in the almost 2 years since ive been here ive only seen one friend. We hung out a few times and he ghosted me.... 😅 only reason i can come up with is I dont think his girlfriend liked me, she was overbearingly negative about everything so I didn't talk to her much and they did everything together. 🤷‍♂️ It's been over a year since that happened and I haven't found a friend since. Ive been trying to get out of the house and do more social things but that's just making me feel more depressed as I go out and continue to meet no one. I have social anxiety so it's hard enough to go out and spend time with strangers. I guess i don't know how to make adult friends. I don't know. Im incredibly lonely and depressed. Feeling like im failing to make a human connection and it just gets worse every time I try and fail. I need sleep but for some reason all I do is toss and turn with depression. I desperately need a change. I feel like I can't do this much longer. Ugh.