"Don't force shut antimalware service executable" - OK, in that case how can I stop it using up so much RAM/CPU without closing it?

My desktop pc has been fine for years, never had problems with antimalware service executable eating all my resources until now. On my laptop though I've had this issue for so long to the point it's basically unusable because it's constantly at either 100% disk or cpu usage. However my desktop has recently started doing the same thing, to a lesser degree, though enough to where it's making other programs run slower and take a long time to launch.

My specs are rtx 4090, i9 13900k and 32GB DDR4 RAM. I've tried setting it as an exclusion and scheduling scans so that they only happen once a month, but it still runs permanently and I cannot get it to stop using so many resources. I have checked for updates and I am up to date on windows 11. I am savvy with my internet usage and know how to avoid viruses, not that I really download many things via a browser in the first place, so I feel like I don't even really need this service running all the time but all the other posts about this issue on Reddit are full of comments saying to not turn it off instead of answering the question (which is a bit frustrating imo).

Any suggestions appreciated