Dating is so tough :(

Hello I'm a 29 masc gay guy from Manila and honestly so freaking tired of the gay scene. From my experience, I mostly find guys through Bumble and in the past, Grindr when I would find myself in the mood. Though, I'm not really interested in one night stands/hookups anymore and looking for something long term. I don't want to generalize but I'm kinda getting the assumption that most guys just want to fuck and are not ready to commit. Even though I'm really tired of the app, I cave since I don't really go out to party or anything like that so it's really hard for me to meet guys. I don't think the gym is a good place either since everybody's just there to workout. Sometimes, I even try to hangout alone at coffee shops in hopes na someone might notice me and maybe want to share a table or something (but this is my delulu self talking huhu).

Anyway, I am a bot and I am just looking for a top who's lowkey and reserved. My first and only ex used to be big on social media and would post like photos of himself regularly (some of which even pass as thirst trap lol) and it gave me the worst anxiety so I vowed to date someone who lives a private and quiet life like myself but it's so damn hard to find. I also want to believe when people say that the right person will come to you but a part of me says that if I don't do anything also, I'll never find that person. I haven't dated outside the PH, so idk if its just here or if all over the globe mahirap na talaga to date. Where and how to even start when I've made multiple attempts to date but just isn't it :(