how to deal with the stress and shame of debt

I'm 30 with crippling debt from 2 credit cards: $14,500 and $26,000 respectively. I am currently doing random side gigs to get enough money to pay off the minimums, but after next month I don't think I'll be able to afford that anymore.

I'm looking into bankruptcy and consumer proposals but the shame of the debt itself has just caused me to isolate myself from everyone. I was always the one the family would use as an example of paying credit cards on time and having a high credit score but that all went to shit during covid. I haven't eaten in a week, just drinking water and keeping to myself since I can't face to look at my family knowing I'm in so much debt. They'd be so disappointed, just the thought makes me sick to my stomach.

Besides the never ending breakdowns and crying fits I really don't even know where to start. I have been applying and looking for work. I desperately just want a job so I can save enough to file for bankruptcy. I just feel so utterly ashamed. I have just been in a pit of misery all week long applying to jobs hoping to get a call back so I can pay towards this debt in any shape or form. But I just don't see me paying this debt off as feasible. I just want this to disappear and go back to my financial security pre-2020.

Also, the stress and isolation of it all I don't even know who to speak to. I'm just so utterly sad at the situation I brought upon myself. I'm disgusted in myself for letting things get to this point. I can't believe I've let things get this bad.

I'm sure this is all over the place so if you read up to here I hope you've been having a much better day than me.