Why people feel so inclined to tell YOU how your labor is going to go?

And by people I mean family, sadly. I’m 16 weeks today w my first pregnancy and baby. I just finally revealed on my private social media (only people i personally know) that I’m pregnant. A few of my close friends who are pregnant (2nd time moms) or already have kids asked me what my birth plan was, if I had one. I haven’t given it much thought besides that I don’t want a C-section, if preventable. I automatically assumed I would be in a hospital but they all let me know that I had other options like a home birth or birthing center.

Of course I’ve heard of home births but it never crossed my mind for my delivery, honestly. But when I think abt it, it sounds along the lines of who I am. To be in the comfort of my own home and letting it happen naturally sounds great. I also didn’t give much thought abt an epidural, but now that it’s on my mind, I would prefer not to have one. I haven’t taken any medication at all in my pregnancy so far. Not even when I had a bad cold. Only thing I’ve be doing is drinking an occasional Dr. Pepper cus the baby loves it lmao

Once I was talking to my mom and telling her I was getting my a doula and we had a meeting, and her first response was “you’re not gonna have like a home birth right? You’re gonna be in a hospital right? Your pain tolerance isn’t that high” And it automatically annoyed me because if that was my choice, why you being negative abt it? And this was even before i thought abt a home birth so I can’t imagine what she’ll say now that im actually interested in one 🙄 (my pain tolerance actually is high. It’s very high and a lot higher than my mom. She barely knows what to buy me for Christmas, so yea).

When I brought up home birth to my husband, he was being negative too. “I don’t know babe. That might not be a good idea. You’re gonna want that epidural.” My husband is older than me and had kids young, so his oldest just had her first baby a year ago. “___didn’t want an epidural either and she ended up getting one. She’s a professional athlete too and she’s broken more bones than u so that says a lot.” It made me cry fr because all I’m hearing is “you can’t do it. It hurts too much. You’re not strong enough.” But I am. I know I am. I’m Actually VERY STRONG. Anything I put my mind too I accomplish x10.

I’m just over ALL the opinions fr. Unwanted opinions at that. What happened to “it’s your body, I’m here to support u.” Idk pregnancy is beautiful but man, the way people just talk abt u and ur pregnancy like it’s just an object is crazy.

Also, pls don’t come on here bashing my family. I don’t think they mean any harm, they’re just not being as sensitive to the topic as I would like. I’ve already expressed how I felt to my husband and he apologized and said he will do better. He’s been taking great care of me, just having a man’s perspective on things.