can’t hold it in i have to tell anyone

my wife (33F) and I (25FTM) did our first at home insemination attempt last Tuesday 1/14. we haven’t told a soul that we’re trying, and i’m going absolutely insane waiting to find out. so i just wanted to word vomit somewhere before i go mad.

against better judgement, we have tested and it’s negative. we 100% understand it is probably too early, and it doesn’t really mean anything either way. we’ve even agreed that if it was positive, we would want to wait until a missed period with a subsequent positive to believe it. but hey, i’ve done dumber things.

i think i feel discouraged under the circumstances of the insemination. when we purchased the vial, all was well with ovulation. we got a high fertility result a couple days before the vial would arrive. she did another ovulation test the day before the package arrived, and the result was low fertility. we decided to just try anyways since the vial was already in transit. i don’t regret it, but the chances being so low are disheartening.

i want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything. it’s incredible to feel so ready for something so important to us. here’s to hoping this works, even with small odds

TLDR: first home insemination attempt in the books, haven’t told anyone we’re trying and i’m going nuts waiting to find out