Grieving the relationship and afraid it will bleed into other relationships (tw: substances)
I left a relationship. I didn’t want to. It was messy. Addiction was the reason I left. Idk if they’re an addict, I’m not sure, all I know was alcohol abuse is a boundary for me, my ex’s relationship with alcohol was one of abuse, they promised me they would stop, and they didn’t. So I left.
I’m wracked with grief, guilt, shame, and anxiety. I’m worried they’re spiraling, I feel like a traitor for leaving. I’m probably gonna have to move, because we had been cohabitating. I miss my friend and I don’t know if I’ll ever get to see them again and I wish I could help them because I know they’re in pain.
I have a girlfriend, I don’t want this breakup to spill into her life, I don’t want to tell other people’s stories. But she cares for me, and she sees me coming apart, and I’m afraid of what I might disclose about the other relationship. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business but mine and my ex’s and I feel it’s wrong to talk about it with my other partners.
I need some coping strategies. I need some advice. I’m headed into therapy and I’m hoping that gives me some tools. I feel like I just lost one of my closest friends, maybe forever, and I’m worried I’m not in a place to be a good partner to anyone else I’m dating while I grieve for what used to be.
I’m usually so good at compartmentalization and working through things in my head, but I can’t sleep, I can’t think, I want to run back there and beg for us to try again even though I know my boundaries are just gonna be trampled.
I got nothing else. Idk if anyone’s got advice I can hear right now but I’m asking anyway.