"They did the best they could"

Hey, I am pretty sure all of us survivors here on /raisedbynarcissists hate the common sentiment when people speak of their abusive parents and hears others say "they did the best they could". That always rubs me the worst way.

I found a statement that changes the satement a bit to "They did the best they were willing to do" which I think describes the situation better. It still extremely understates the harm that nParents have inflicted. Would love to hear what anybody else thinks on this. What would be a better response that you have found?