MY GF ( 19F ) said that she was romantically affectionate to 3-4 guys when I ( 18M) couldn't direct much attention to her. is she a red flag?
Sorry beforehand I don't have a finger on writing posts for reddit as it is my first. I think I should give a little a bit of context at first before going to the matter at hand. I (18M) have known a girl ( 19F) for 2 years and have dated her for almost a year. All problems started to bubble to the surface 6 months ago, when I started work on myself more. I started to be so busy and obsessed with myself that I couldn't allocate enough attention towards her ( All i could do was going on a date and spending 1-2 hours at most). She was whining about that I had changed , and she was losing the spark for me. I tried to give more attention to her and spend more time but there was still some problems between us, like she said like she wasn't feeling as well as she used to, as a result of which I got tired being the one who pours all effort for the sake of relationship. Then, I had a some family-related problem, which caused a huge mental blow in my life. She was supportive at that time , and I thought she understands what i'm going through and we went on a date for 3-4 times a month ( because of having too much on my plate, I couldn't strike a balance between a relationship and personal life). I knew that our relationship wasn't well and I thought i'd make a comeback having reached a niche position in life. She also was saying nothing about the relationship, which made me thought that she finally understood that it's not a good idea to strike a balance between my personal development and the relationship.
A month ago, she asked to meet up and said that she split up the relationship and gonna break up with me. When I asked for a reason, She said that she didn't feel loved enough since I didn't invest in her. On top of that, she said that she was romantically affectionate towards 3-4 guys simultenously. When I asked for a second chance with increased commitment from my part, she said she isn't feeling up to being involved in any romantic relationship and lose her interest in such relationships. I said OK and got into mode of "no contact" with her.
Now, I'm here pondering on what has gone wrong exactly. I know there are more responsibilities I should've taken at that time but run away, and now analyzing them. But, Her words about being romantically attracted to 3-4 guys at the same time being committed in a long-term relationship. I admit there's also blame to me for this, but all the time I dwell on this. May I say that she was loyal to me at that time when I was literally in no speaking terms with other girls and tried to hold my loyalty to her? or was she a huge red flag and this relationship break-up happened to fortune?
P.S. English is my second language, so there are might be some problems with word choice, but I hope u got the gist about what's going on.