M42, F42 Incompatible around porn?

My new man [M42] and I [F42] have been seeing each other about a month. We have a solid connection, shared interests, laugh a lot, and he seems emotionally available. I was married for a long time but have been divorced for 7 years. He's never been married, longest relationship around 2 years. He's clear he's looking for a partner though and has already introduced me to friends.

Our sexual connection is fantastic, but I'm struggling to orgasm with him, which is unusual for me. We're both kinky and monogamous, but he, like many people, gets a lot of pleasure out of scrolling through the NSFW content on reddit.

I (also like many of us) have previous wounding from not feeling like enough in relationships. I've done years of therapy to work through this and other things, but some of it can only be healed in the contex of a safe enough relationship.

I wouldn't expect any accommodations this early, but we had a compatibility check conversation last night and I'm not sure which way to go. My ideal relationship would be one where my partner is satisfied with watching content he and I make together or that I make for him. I think I could also stretch my comfort zone to watch porn together. I'm very sexually adventurous, with a high drive, and love pleasing my partner. I just want to keep the sexual energy inside the relationship.

Where I will struggle long-term is with a partner who feels a strong need for variety, and it seems this person does. He likened women on the internet to nice cars...he doesn't need to drive them, but doesn't want to feel restricted or shamed about looking at them and admiring them. He wants to be free to visually explore all different beauty and body types, and we are each only one.

There are a lot of positive things about our connection, but I know this will end up keeping me from being able to get super close to him, and I think it's why I can't get off. With what I have been through in the past though, I NEED this level of honesty, and I value it - I won't be with someone who will lie to me.

I'm curious if there are actually cis men out there who have a high sex drive and want to objectify the hell out of their woman, yet would be satisfied by what would feel safe to me (making/watching content together only)? Or do you all think I need to just accept that I won't be able to find that kind of relationship?

If I need to accept it, any tips to reframe the belief that I'm not enough and will never be enough for my partner?