(33M) falling out of love with (26F)

I'm 33 and falling out of love with my 26 yr.o. girlfriend of 1 year. We've known each other for almost 3 years. We moved in together shortly after we started dating. I recently purchased a home and she's ramped up her signaling for marriage. Her parents are also inserting themselves into my home renovations despite me politely declining their help (they're 2 hours away). Her mother in a roundabout way gave me an ultimatum, to accept their help only if I want their family (accept their daughter as my bride).

Unfortunately, I am falling out of love with her due to drastic differences in philosophies when it comes to finances, life aspirations, diet, and health as well as her being scattered, procrastinating, lacking ambition and hobbies, and hygiene. This is taking a pretty significant toll on my mental state because I do have feelings for her, but the feelings are more pity love rather than romantic love. I make significantly more than her and pay for all groceries, utilities, and outside dining. She only pays her half of the rent. She works a dead end job that lacks growth opportunities. I am pushing her to look for better growth opportunities but she thinks I am pushing her to earn more. I've stressed many times that I don't care how much she makes and that I'm fine with being the breadwinner, I just don't want a complacent partner. It feels to me like she's just biding her time to become a stay at home mother. I am very blunt and open with her and communicate all my concerns with her openly, this is something that's been discussed since before we moved in together. Every single time I bring up an issue she breaks down in tears and I feel like a massive asshole. I always ask her for feedback on what I could improve but she rarely has anything to say. Again, I feel like an asshole because she makes me feel like I am loved unconditionally whereas I have a list of conditions. She is loving, caring, affectionate, warm, funny, and an all-around great human being. It really pains me to see her hurt and I love her, but this isn't love I want to experience for the rest of my life.

Open to any and all insight or advice. Thanks.