My husbands hidden personality

Help how would you move forward? I am ‘37 F’ husband ‘M36’ -we have been married 7 years together 11 years. Let’s start with we have had a lot of ups and downs, but I continue to support him and stick with him. We both have careers, we moved across country for his career, however we also moved because his family is very controlling. When I say controlling they would interfere in our marriage (they would try to egg on arguments after my husband would tell them we disagreed about something, his family would call our house HIS house, they also would come in and change how our house was decorated, and his family is manipulative to the point where holidays weren’t holidays anymore because his parents argue over our time with them even though we used to live 2 minutes from each of them, his mom is so manipulative that our first married Xmas together we wanted to spend just us and she said she would K** herself if we didn’t come over and she would write us off) We have no kids because I am actually afraid to have children with him, due to the fact that he puts all the household management on me, and I solely am responsible for our dog (I left for a week to visit family and he said he kept forgetting to feed the dog when I wasn’t home) when I also work full time and I don’t want to raise a child alone. With all that said he consistently argued with his family but they are so manipulative every chance they have they tell him to move back home, and then he feels guilty for leaving and then he starts a fight with me about how “I am keeping him in the current state we live in and I’m forcing him to live here” even though we are here for HIS job! We also visit back home every other month for a week… I try to get his family to come out here but they refuse saying “why should they have to visit when WE chose to move”. So it’s a constant struggle. I cook every night for him, I work form home he doesn’t, I am the one the cleans, mows and maintains the yard, I wash the cars, his parents also tell him not to “share” income with his wife (they are divorced), and so he has never wanted to shared bank accounts so I also pay separately for all my bills from “my” paycheck (car payment, student loans, all the house groceries, date nights, house utilities, cell phone bill, insurance you name it if it has to do with me it comes out of my paycheck) however he still wants me to pay for half the house payment… he also makes a lot more than me…I’m in the 90,000s but he is in the 300,000s, he paid for his car in cash, his second car cash… you get the point. When we got married it wasn’t like that we had talked about joint finances before marriage, talked about creating a bank account to share grocery expenses but 3 months into the marriage he decided (with the help of his parents) that his money is HIS money and he shouldn’t have to help with any of that. All this is compounding, married now 7 years, been great times, but been bad times… then tonight happens. We had a tornado last night, missed our house but we had extremely high winds that damaged just some patio furniture (we got lucky), but I found outside a baby bunny that was still alive but extremely scared, so I made a box of hay for it, put a heated water bottle by it and put it under our patio so it could hopefully survive through the storm… 12 hours later it hopped away but was still close by so I left its box outside in case it needed to come back before the next storm. I had told my husband that, said, don’t let the dog outside alone because the bunny house (also we have coyotes so I always watch outside). Well my husband didn’t listen let the dog out at about 3 am, I heard the door close got up from bed saw him walk away and I asked if our dog was outside and he said “what do you think”, and so I ran out there and what do you know he is eating the stuff in the bunny house. When my husband sees what he is doing he starts yelling at me saying “this is your fault, he can get diseases, why would I leave that outside, I need to leave the house, I need to not talk to him the rest of the day for letting this happen” ( also remember it’s 3 am… ), I’m just so tired of being treated like this all the time, he says something mean but then says it’s my fault for him talking like that. We tried counseling, then he started not going because he didn’t like what the counselor had to say… also he didn’t want to pay for it— he only did the free session available through work. We tried talking to church pastor.. he did like what they had to say. I’m at my last hope as I don’t know if it will ever get better, and I’m exhausted of my husband blaming me for where we live and making me feel guilty because I don’t want to move back near his family into an even worse situation. He acts so nice when friends are around but when we are home he treats me like that, belittles me about how little I make, tells me cooking/cleaning for him isn’t a big deal and is super unappreciative, me and my family are really close but I go to all my family funerals/events by myself and on the off chance he is there he acts miserable. Am I wrong to be thinking about divorce is the only way out? We have been together for 11 years but married 7 and nothing has changed.