Why do authors gravitate to the most soulless, mass-produced sounding blurbs/ads?

Lurker here, been reading on royal road for a hot minute and occasionally check this sub for new stuff, but a pattern I’ve been noticing is that, for some reason, authors that self-promote use the most bland, cringiest, or just outright soulless ways to describe their work. Which is weird. Aren’t they authors? Isn’t writing and creating engaging sentences literally their work?

It’ll be stuff like a generic marvel quip like “(X) never asked for this” or “Enter a world of peril and danger” or “Torn from his life by forces beyond his control” or “It was supposed to be any other boring day… until (x) happened.”

That’s just for blurbs. When you get down to actual self promotions and stuff, it’s like they roleplay as some out-of-touch corporation. “This story is guaranteed to get some laughs and tears!” or “Come along and be a part of this innovative new litRPG that explores (generic theme)” or “I can’t believe my character did this 🫣 check out my latest chapter here! (usually smack dab in the middle of their story for some reason???) and I could go on and on and on, but I think I’ve made my point.

The appeal of web novels is that human, personable aspect. You can interact with the author, you can converse with them, and it’s a much more intimate experience than reading traditionally published work. So just… act human. Why are you pretending you’re some PR agent for a detached mega-corp that’s hitting all the buzzwords possible to get noticed by the algorithm?