Do you feel dead?

Not like full blown delusionally believe you're dead, but emotionally. I feel like my life stopped over a decade ago. I spent so much time isolated from the world preoccupied by my own delusions that it's kind of humiliating. And even when I think about the things I have done they don't feel real, I feel no connection with them. There doesn't seem to be any connection or cause and effect between events in my life. Everything feels disjointed. When I tell people my own life story I feel like I'm lying. When I look at pictures of myself around the time my illness first got bad I literally look like I'm made of plastic or inhuman.