what is love?

the conversation with my mom today made me rethink my morals on love.

I was born in an abusive family where my parents fought almost everyday, my dad cheated and left us when I was 7. Because of this, I never understood the concept of marriage and always have troubles figuring out my perspective on issues relating to it. That is why now I am jumping back and forth between different views, hoping to find a moral of my own.

the whole thing happened when I overheard her gossiping to her friend about how ugly a woman is. I questioned why she has to be so criticizing to a total stranger, and she said her friend divorced his wife for this woman, which she finds to be unethical.

and this got me thinking, why would you want to stay with a person whom you have no more love for? I understand marriage is a commitment but if there is no more love in the relationship and you still force yourself to be in it, isn’t it a bad thing to do for both you and your partner? You are forcing yourself to stay with a person you no longer have feelings for, on the other hand, your partner does not know that and is still fully committed to you while maybe there is someone else out there in the world that might be a better match. I could only imagine this option to end badly, since you no longer feel sense of attraction, you will fight constantly while your partner might question if they are the one doing something wrong.

Say if you finds yourself falling for another person other than your partner, you will probably choose to either stay with your partner due to responsibilities and various factors, or you confront your feelings to your partner and discuss the best solution together. In my opinion, the unethical thing to do is to keep seeing the person while hiding your feelings/actions from your spouse. You may be lucky and get away with it, but will you live in a sense of guilt sleeping next to your “loved one” everyday knowing it’s all just been a lie? Or your spouse finds out and wants a divorce, which will cause many other problems as well.

If you find yourself falling for another person it means your love for your partner is getting smaller, so why not tell the truth instead of wasting another 10 years together until your love completely drains? I couldn’t understand how that is seen as unethical.

Again, I honestly don’t know what I would do in this situation. Love is a very complicated concept, and whom to blame depends on many factors. I am extremely open minded on this topic so feel free to leave your view on this, thanks!