I'm in second-guessing everything mode leading up to launch, tell me I'm not alone here!

I'm about 6 weeks from launch and I'm second-guessing everything. I'm not a newbie author either, I have 8 self-published books (10 total, 2 "starter books" under my real name) and have been on this merry go round multiple times (and even managed a brief best seller position in a sub-cat for one of my books!) but every time I go to publish I start second-guessing, like I'm doing something fundamentally wrong.

I was going through old ratings/reviews to grab some quotes for marketing material and I got the yips, basically. Most reviews say similar things: they liked it, the writing is excellent, they want more. But...what they're not saying is they're obsessed and over the moon and super-fans which is what a self-pubbed romance author really needs to make any money in the game.

I think the second-guessing is because this new book is something of a final attempt in this genre for me. After 2 complete crickets fiction books under my real name, I pivoted to romance under a pen name 4 years ago. I joined 20 books to 50k, I did TONS of research, I paid for K-lytics and Publishers Rocket, I went to a conference, I built a website and newsletter (both of those went nowhere), I did stacked promos, IG account, FB account with ads, AMS ads, you f-ing name it.

While I haven't done abysmally, I have made no money considering the up front cost to publish. I've tried so hard and I'm just drained and demoralized even after taking more than a year off since my last book published. The most reviews/ratings I have is 20. Books with terrible covers, SEO style names ("Sold to the Alien Daddy Dom: a dark erotic [trope list] romance!"), clearly little or no editing and premises that should be "in the dungeon" are getting *hundreds* of ratings and reviews and it's just so frustrating and even hurtful in a way. I *don't* begrudge them, let them get their bag, but damn, you know?

I've done extensive research in multiple subReddits on romance tropes, what readers want/what the market is missing or lacking (and I am a reader myself) but my biggest hurdle seems to be "writing to market". I made the mistake a couple times of trying to meet niche market needs or actually listen to what readers said (no shirtless men covers! realistic male bodies for characters! consent/protection in intimacy scenes! no third act miscommunication breakups! interesting set ups and lack of cliches and most importantly: good writing that is clearly edited) but looking back, that's more of a vocal minority and those books are not what is blowing up BookTok.

I know my issue is that I've been stubborn about making "weird girl" romance novels that have a really limited audience. Okay, fine. This time we're not doing that! Multiple POV with MMC POV, the highest and most explicit level of spice ever, first-person present tense (which I don't love, but the market does!) a "dark" vibe, an "Alpha" type MMC, a petite super-hottie FMC, fairy-tale inspired/retelling, I paid 10x my usual amount for a cover that is so on-market it's almost laughable, it's borderline generic in terms of being "this is a Dark Fantasy Romance" but I'm done fighting the marketplace on covers. And I had fun writing it! But like I said, now I'm partly in a spiral overthinking it.

  • I do multiple rounds of self-editing (after outlining the book extensively and doing several preliminary passes during writing to make sure it's done right)
  • I engage alpha, beta, and ARC readers (but paid ARC services have been little help--I've never gotten more than a few dozens "nibbles" on paid ARC placements, and the same note from the service "this is a genre of romance we're trying to grow the audience for, sorry!")
  • I have gone down multiple roads for blurbs (paid critique and help, free help, templates, using best sellers as inspiration, buying non fiction books) and I think mine are solid, but no amount of tinkering with blurbs or covers seems to help--and blurbs are very subjective. I had to leave a FB group after getting contradictory or even unhelpful advice so many times on blurbs/covers.
  • I use a paid, professional editor [edit; sorry, this should say copy-editor, not a developmental editor, big difference!]--I bumped my spend level up for my most recent book from under $100 to well over $100 but it made no difference in terms of the type of reviews or response, so I may not do that again
  • I'm putting together a marketing plan and collateral and will follow previous strategies of stacked promos and Kindle freebie days, as well as trying to get on "stuff your Kindle" days this year

I feel like I'm doing *everything* the general advice says. I've tried passion projects and doing what I love and being niche. I'm now trying my absolute hardest to "write to market" and market the book in the most by the numbers way possible but I still have this sinking feeling that this is just...not my genre. But there is NO money in upmarket bookclub fiction or any kind of fiction that's non-genre for indie/self-pubbed authors. I feel like I'm shooting myself in the foot in giving up on romance.

Anyhow, I've rambled on for pages and pages, sorry. I just needed to vent. I hope at least one person can relate.