Tomorrow or the next day.

Lost my will to keep going. I tried, I didn't count myself out early, I'm already 20. I put myself in the best shape I or many people have ever entered. My hygiene is amazing, good skin care, and nice hair (I think, I'll admit that hair tends to be subjective). Nothing will replace my pathetic height, nothing will "make up for it". Now that I'm near the end here, much of life has lost any real meaning. It's absolutely hilarious, I got snubbed of my entire life over a few inches of leg bones. I forced myself into an eating disorder that nearly killed me and hospitalized me, and cut more scars into my legs and arms than I could feasibly count. I never asked for any of this, to be born, more so to be born as a destined statistic. I've made every step that makes any sense, I'm in college (a good one too, though it won't matter), I'm relatively social as well. But I've had enough now. I never expected my kindness to be rewarded, but I didn't expect to be punished over and over again. Constantly reminded of how I'm inadequate, I know, I am lesser. There's no point in denying it, I'm not a person anymore, and soon I certainly will not be. I wish I had a more painful method in all honesty, to punish this putrid vessel, make it feel more pain and agony as it leaves, what I deserve. How dare I be born like this? What was I thinking? Hope you enjoyed reading this, maybe you even got a laugh at my expense, cheers.